Rayma -follow your heart

- Thursday, March 23, 2006

People tend to forget about themselves in exploration of the big world.How can we be true to ourselves when we haven't discovered ourselves wholly and souly? How can we find our soul mate when we haven't fully understood ourselves?

Discovering our true strengths and weaknesses and the essence of who we are is essential for becoming better and secure people. We sometimes rely on other people too much for giving us validation and affirmation of who we are instead of looking within.

As for me, I feel like I've only just been born. In the past few
years I've been on a huge journey of self analysis. I've crossed
paths with people who are also on the same discovery, who have also made their own revelations. People who are on the same wavelength and have been inspirational and are my guides. People can all plod along in life with blinkers on but it is those who choose to take them off and have a good look around that will find life the most rewarding.

It's taken me a long time to work myself out and really stop to think what makes us tick? Am I with the right person ? Am I living the life I dreamed I would as a little girl? Lucky for me, I didn't have high expectations but I was a day dreamer who had lots of dreams. I would be the girl at the back of the class room looking glazy eyed out through the window, thinking of 100 things I'd like to be doing apart from listening to the boring teacher. Daydreaming so much made me feel a little different and it's not until only recently that I have met others similar to know where I fit in. For some reason through life I've always connected with creative and artistic people. This self discovery of who I am and who I like to surround myself with is a breakthrough. All these discoveries of late are helping me to be the person I really am.

We put pressure on ourselves thinking by the time we are over 30 we really should know what we are about and what we were destined to do. It's the treadmill of life, once you get on board with something it's hard to break away. It could be work, friendship, marriage etc...
Once you're in your comfort zone the pressure can be too much to change. For some, it takes a big wake up call. Like their partner cheating, divorce, illness, near death experience, midlife crises.etc.. to stop themselves dead in their tracks. A time to find out what has gone wrong in their life and start taking control of their lives and destiny to a more happier  fulfilling life.

Having chosen a modeling career as one of my jobs, would be seen as a fine enough for job for me. Even then, I have had insecurities of having chosen the right thing for "me". I would be doubting my intelligence and whether I could have achieved greater things in life. Maybe I could have opened my heart a bit more and chosen a deeper career and helped people instead of focusing on myself? Given that I am doubting a more glamorous job, I often wonder how the 9 - 5 worker feels??  I wonder how many creative people are out there selling their soul and settling in a comfort zone? I could have stayed working as a ward clerk in the hospital and thinking that was it for me, had I not challenged myself. I guess being a dreamer helped, always dreaming of something more rewarding for me in my life.

I'm always sad for the many lives that are lived out there, that haven't reached their full potential. I'm equally as sad for the lives that are being led without the company of their soul mate. If anyone reads this and is feeling restless, then there must be a reason.

It's time to find our true selves and to always challenge ourselves deeper. It is to easy to be caught up in the materialistic shallow world and forget about our own internal existence. I think we should take one step at a time in discovering ourselves and Look at what brings a real smile to our faces. Are we a follower or do we enjoy leading and creating? These are the questions we have to ask ... and as we keep onchanging we continually have to question and search...

Best Wishes Rayma.

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